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Come Australia Day, everyone is scrambling to the beach, dancing to the hottest songs of the year, shoving as many meat pies as humanly possible down their pie holes and throwing shrimp on the barbie. However, with good times, come first world problems. Here are 21 Australia Day problems that every Aussie has:
1. Finding a spot at the beach...
Image credit: Alex Proimos via Wikimedia
Cool down at the beach, they said. It’ll be fun, they said.
2. There’s never enough sunscreen to combat the harsh Aussie sun
A little more...a little more...oh f*ck it.
3. Losing your mate in the sea of people wearing Aussie gear
I guess this is goodbye. It’s been good knowing you Ben.
4. When you tell your mate to BYOB and he brings a goon bag
Image credit: reddit.com
In his defence, at least he brought enough for everyone.
5. Temporary blindness from squinting at the sun...
You wouldn’t have this problem if you were wearing Local Supply sunnies, just sayin’.
6. Seagulls stealing fish and chips...
7. Bin chickens on the hunt
Image credit: wikipedia.com
Can you believe that the bin chicken (white ibis) was the early favourite to win the 2017 Australian Bird of the Year? Alas, the magpie swooped into first place, leaving the bin chicken in second place with a little over 19,000 votes.
8. It’s so hot you can fry an egg on your car
PSA: do not try this at home kids.
9. Taking care of your drunk mate like...
10. The Uber and taxi surcharges
Oh 4x surge pricing, no problem, let me just sell my left kidney.
11. Your post Australia Day thong tan
I’d insert a picture here, but why not look down at your own thong* tan?
*Sandals that you wear on your feet, not underwear of any shape or form.
12. Flies...flies everywhere
Image credit: cycletrailsaustralia.com
13. Waiting for the Triple J Hottest 100...
Um, where is it? Oh right, it won’t be on Australia Day this year. Fret not, stay tuned for
Local Supply’s Hottest 100 - dropping soon!
14. There are never enough Zooper Doopers
Or they’ve melted in the esky. Bummer.
15. You have an internal dilemma about celebrating Australia Day
To celebrate or not to celebrate, that is the question.
16. Aussie Day fireworks freaking out your furry friend
Please make it stop hooman.
17. The aftermath of throwing an Aussie Day barbie
Just six bags of bottles, 30 minutes of scraping the barbie and a window to patch up. Oh and getting Uncle Jim back home.
18. Trying to get onto public transport after Australia Day fireworks...
It’s just a little crowded...
19. The post Australia Day sunburn
It’s fine, it’ll fade into a tan...right?
20. Checking your social media and text messages after Australia Day
Who’s that? Oh sh*t it’s me.
21. The hangover the next day…
“This is a real tattoo!”
Hopefully you didn’t unknowingly get a new tatt during Australia Day...but if you did, here’s to hoping it wasn’t something you’d regret for years to come. Happy Straya Day!